Our son, Jon, is a pastor in PA. He writes a monthly article for their local paper. This is a great reminder of what Christmas is about...
Walking into Target, before we even got through the second set of doors, Karis says, "Daddy, please, please can I have a Zhu Zhu pet?"Last month we were watching cartoons on a lazy Saturday morning. A certain commercial appeared and the girls screamed, "Daddy, please, please can we have a Zhu Zhu pet?"Do you see a trend here?
Since the end of September all the retail stores have been ramping up to this "Season of Stuff" we call Christmas.Now I get it. Don't label me anti-business. Both the big box store manager and the mom and pop shop keeper need to put food on the table and hopefully have a little left over at the end of the year. I live in that world, too! It's just that as a pastor I see the fallout all the time.
Dec. 25 is more than a month away and already my daily news feed on Facebook is sprinkled with status update laments about Christmas gift-buying stress and Black Friday sales hysteria.Next week at this time we will read news articles about how this person got trampled or that person got into a fist fight shortly after the big box store opened their doors at 3:45 a.m. Black Friday morning.
I see the stressed-out families feeling guilty because each year they regret how much they spend on their already spoiled kids and yet somehow they feel powerless to declare a definitive "No!" to excessive spending again this year.Even in a recession, last year we spent $45 billion on Christmas. Did you know that is three times the amount it would cost to rebuild all the broken buildings and broken lives in Haiti?
Why is it that we feel panicked and nauseous if we gave a gift of lesser value to someone who bought us a more expensive gift? I see people buying gifts out of guilt because they feel an obligation to buy gifts for extended family members they only talk to once a year.Why do we think purchasing gifts will somehow ensure everyone feels loved by us? The Beatles were right - you can't buy me love. I guess we can try?Oh, and by the way - your kids and grandkids think you can buy their love, but you can't.
I'm not saying don't buy gifts for your loved ones and friends. I am saying that the real gifts we crave are not Zhu Zhu pets or the latest gaming system.Oh, so we finally gave our girls their Zhu Zhu pets. How long did the little digital hamsters hold their attention? Try a week and a half. Thus, on and on we go to the next momentary sought-after distraction.I'm not suggesting you become a Scrooge and boycott Christmas. That just creates another set of problems.
Rather, how do we redeem Christmas?You know what the people in your life really want? You know what you really want? It's not another digital distraction. The people in your life really want you.They want to know you think they are valuable and worthy, not just because you buy them gifts, but because when they speak, you intently listen. They want to know that you are their biggest fan. They long for your approval. They hope for your understanding and desire for you to know what matters most to them.I know grown tough guys, men with children of their own, who would give up all of their latest gadgets just to know that their emotionally absent fathers were proud of them for who they are, not just what they do.
Humor me. What did you get for Christmas last year? What about the year before? If you are like me, you can't remember.In the last five years the only gift I remember receiving was when my parents took everyone in our family out for a special dinner the day after Christmas. We ate, drank, laughed and talked about the highs and lows of our lives that year. It was great, better than all the gifts I've since forgotten.We don't live for stuff. We live for relationships.This Christmas, use your brain. Divert your gift-buying energy and stress into finding creative experiences that value relationships over possessions.
Jon Hand is the pastor of Engage Community Church in Carlisle. He welcomes comments at jon@engagecommunitychurch.com
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